#24 Love of the Big City with a Little Bit of Intention

 

Editor : @_j_ihn.b

 

There is a saying that Singapore is a love desert, but this is my opinion based on the opinions of people around me, so I am not sure if everyone thinks so. Singapore gives newlyweds the right to apply for a house. It is a system called BTO (Built-To-Order), which means that the government directly sells public housing built by the government to qualified citizens. Perhaps because of this system, Singaporean couples seem to make commitments to marriage a bit earlier in their relationship. How beautiful and stable such a system is! Contrary to what i expected, a Singaporean friend I recently met shared an intriguing story: two couples who had promised marriage didn’t seem to be in love at all. When asked, "Do you really love that person?" one of them answered, "I’m not sure." I advised them to just think of it as 'marriage blues'.

 

While the BTO system isn’t the issue, it made me think that the age at which people choose to marry and how they approach relationships might differ depending on where they settle. If the characteristics of the place they root themselves in are clearer, the way they approach love could also be distinctly different. Major cities each have their own unique "color," and each city likely has its own form of love.

 

A metropolis, defined by having over a million people and the spaces, economy, and infrastructure that connect them, is a place where a wider variety of people cross paths and clash. In this densely populated place, people get entangled, but it takes more subtle effort to turn those interactions into meaningful connections. While it might be possible to casually encounter someone and start a relationship without much effort, those encounters are rare, and it’s even more difficult to compare the stories behind those relationships. This brings us to "Bumble" in major cities—how do we meet and connect with potential partners? I believe dating apps are the best tool for gathering data on this form of love. In major cities where people are busy and diverse, it’s difficult to meet someone without an efficient, artificial tool like a dating app. I looked into some of the ways of love through a dating app in a metropolis. Since I have not experienced love by traveling to every city, I borrowed the power of Chat GPT :)

 

 

Dating App Awareness by City

New York
In New York, apps are seen as the 'starting point of relationships' and there is no significant prejudice against using apps. However, it is characteristic that, like Americans, a profile at the level of a resume is required. In a career-centered life, dating apps are used as an "on-the-go" tool for meeting various people easily, while living a busy daily life. While meetings are easy, meaningful connections are harder to establish.

 

 

Seoul
There is still a perception that it is a casual meeting, and many people rely on mutual friends or friends of friends for introductions, often through "introductions" or blind dates. Chat GPT says that dating apps in Seoul have a high foreign-Korean matching rate.

 

 

London

While dating apps are commonly used in London, the pub/bar culture is so developed that it’s common to meet people just by going to the local bar. Then, I might think, what about non-drinkers? But then I think again, “There’s mocktail!” thought ended. They say that efficient time management is especially important in London, and that being able to adjust the time of a meeting through a dating app is an element that people demand and are satisfied with in dating apps.

 

Singapore
In this efficient city, people tend to have efficient meetings. Dates are often "fixed" directly through apps. They serve as a bridge for connecting foreigners and locals.

 

 

Paris
Although they still value 'fateful encounters', they eventually admitted that apps are what create coincidences in today's busy society. In particular, the dating app Happn, which started in Paris, operates based on location, because of the concept of making "romance with someone you've actually passed by" a reality. You can match with someone who is sitting in the same cafe or taking the same subway. It seems that these narrative encounters are creating connections that are more efficient than the romance of Paris, where emotions are freely expressed but connections deepen slowly. Even apps are romantic!

 

 

Berlin
There are many non-normative relationships.. Berlin is a city that is free from the definition of relationships. This characteristic is incorporated as it is, and it is said to be open to non-exclusive relationships, polyamory, etc. It is a city where you can explore your own relationship style through apps.

 

 

 

We have different careers and lifestyles depending on the city. The city's seasons, people, tipping culture at restaurants, the atmosphere of pubs, and the hours of daylight are all different, so if you think about it, the love story in each city may be a little different. Depending on how the story starts, the expectations for the relationship will be different. A lunchtime coffee date in New York will be different from a blind date in Korea. The thrill of finding a guy you've met a few times on the subway on Happn will also be different.

 

 

The algorithm of love may resemble the city. With this thought, I end my city love tour.